GOD
He/Him
41
December 25th
Spikemunth
Northeast
Monster
Rocket Beast
I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.
TAG WITH @shredzeppelin
Shred
Chain Reaction [M]
POSTED ON Dec 2, 2023 11:27:22 GMT
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd you've fucked it.
Lulu is pissed. From the sound of it, she's an even bigger wreck than you are right now, and considering you're Shred Zeppelin, that's saying something. Course, the difference is that you're more of a "sex and drugs and rock'n'roll", and she's more "worrying lack of self-care". You're like a suped-up Ferrari going a hundred miles an hour while actively on fire, while she's like a dumpy Mini Cooper that's half-submerged in a lake and slowly sinking deeper. Not that you're calling her dumpy, mind! For being on a week of no food or sleep, she's looking pretty good! Well, except for the bloodshot eyes, but...
Shit. It feels like you've just stepped on a land mine, and the moment you step off, everything is going to blow up on your face. She's staring daggers at you, and the undertones of disdain in her voice are so apparent that they're impossible to miss. You can only describe it as excruciating. It makes you wish you were back in that cave getting beaten to death, because at least you couldn't screw that up.
You need to disarm this situation, and clearly, you can't rely on your own experiences to get you through this. You need to think like someone smarter, someone more sciencey-minded. What would howard slayte tell you to do in this situation?
"Man, you should really learn when to cut your losses. There's a chapter on retreating in the Poke-art of War that I bought you."
Hm. At a glance, it's not a bad idea. Things aren't going well? Just walk out. It's a tempting prospect, but it doesn't hold up to any kind of scrutiny whatsoever. Why would you even expect Howard to know anything about this, anyway? He's Howard. He's too busy with his archaeology and his spreadsheets to know the first thing about women. What about Navy? He's got like, a wife or something, right? What advice would he give you?
"Come on, man. Be persistent. Chicks dig a guy who'll never give up."
Hm. Is that advice better? It doesn't feel better. Sure, it being persistent right now could get you where you need to be, but it could also get you punched straight in the face. Then again, Navy isn't much of an intellectual either, is he? You're running out of options here. For a split-second, you glance over to Penrose as he fiddles with your hair. Come on, buddy. Be the lighthouse to guide this lost sailor out of stormy seas. What are you supposed to do?
...
Hm. Yeah, that was a long shot, wasn't it? He's a Poipole, not a miracle worker. Alright, well, fuck it. You just have to go with the wildcard. What would Grigori Sokolov tell you to do?
Mr. Shred, she is clearly not doing well. Even if the universe is at the whim of these tera crystals and multi-universes, they ultimately mean little to our current situation. She even said it herself: no sleep in a week? Not eating well? Sure-fire signs of mental deterioration. Imagine yourself right after a hangover. Would you be in the best of mind either? Not at all. But she ackowledged it. Self awareness is the first step to admitting there is a problem. Lulu seems smart and capable, too. It might--
Fuckin' hell, alright, you get it! Arceus wept, imaginary Grigori, cut to the fucking chase, yeah? Sheesh... Well, he's not exactly wrong. The problem is obvious, And so is the solution - She needs to go eat, sleep, and generally unfuck herself. But you can't exactly do that for her, can you? What are you supposed to do, force her...?
"...Alright, Lulu: I'm giving you the week off." You decide, taking a step to the side to put some distance between you and the scientist. "Paid, of course, and I'll handle all the paperwork and the bureaucracy and the like. Hell, I'll even make sure it doesn't eat into your leave, too. Any complaints?"
Lulu Flint
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